It’s 3:30am and my mind is whirring with a thousand thoughts.
Should I do this? Should I do that? What are my passions? What do I care about? What are my spiritual gifts? Are certain hobbies/passions for a season? Do they change?
All this time at home is driving me crazy and I feel like I need something to focus my mind on. Something to centre me. Something to help me not overthink things – just as I am doing now.

It’s 3:45am and my mind is whirring with a thousand thoughts.
I am not the mum I thought I’d be – creating fun, sensory, developmental activities to do with my child because I know how important the early years are for development.
But then again, I didn’t expect to be parenting in a pandemic where my child is around me constantly – without anywhere to go and anyone to see – all day, every day. It’s exhausting.
Yet, I get up each day. I manage to somewhat clothe my child… albeit a nappy and a top (his choice), I feed him, I take him outside, I change his nappy, I cuddle him, I read with him, I talk to him and most importantly, I love him.
I manage to get myself out of bed (some mornings before my boy is awake), I manage to feed myself, get outside, get dressed (most of the time), do my work for church, do some housework – all the while growing a baby inside my body.
I’d say you’re doing a pretty good job, Muma!

It’s 5:52am and I am downstairs, snuggled under blankets on the sofa with a cup of tea next to me, writing this post. I could not sleep. I needed to write. And thankfully, I already have this blog set up and ready to go. A blog that I enjoy doing; a creative outlet for me, somewhere to write my thoughts and perspectives on life. A blog I do not utilise enough. I don’t always feel like I have something meaningful to write about but when do, oh how I love writing and sharing my opinions and thoughts on this little platform. I love writing – I loved writing my essays for my degree, I loved writing the 7 and a bit chapters of my (unfinished) novel, I loved writing my children’s books, I love writing blog posts and incorporating my photography into that. I love writing. I love to photograph. I love creating.

It’s 6:02am and I feel like I have some clarity. Some sense of direction. To write. To be creative. To use the gifts God has given me.