I love being a mummy. It is quite literally my life dream come true; there has been nothing I’ve wanted more in life than to be a mummy. In fact, my Dad used to say I came out of the womb broody. But in all honesty the last month has been super difficult. I have faced new challenges and not quite known how to cope. In those lonely moments, particularly in the dark of the night during night feeds, I have found my mind wandering to negative places. But earlier this week, when listening to a podcast I felt something inside me saying that all those negative thoughts were simply not true and then came the inspiration to write the following letter. I hope it will helpful to any mummies out there who are finding their days and their nights just that little bit too much…

Dear Mummy – you are doing a marvellous job!

The last month has been a difficult one. You went from having a son who slept 4-5 hours in a row to a son who refused to sleep. It’s as if he turned 3 months and a switch flipped the sleep button off. In fact, that’s exactly what happened. He started screaming inconsolably, refused to take naps, became fussy when feeding. You just didn’t know what to do. You and your husband hit Google – desperately trying to find a reason why your adorable boy turned into a screaming nightmare. Colic? Teething? Illness? Dairy allergy? There seemed to be no certain reason. Turns out he hit a phase called sleep regression and teething. Apparently it’s very common and is just that – a phase. While it seems like it will never end, it is just a phase. Apparently.

And before you start the downward spiral of negative thoughts – wondering what you’ve done wrong or berating yourself for being a terrible mother, I just wanted to tell you what a marvellous job you’re doing and remind you of how far you’ve come in the last 4 months.

Firstly, remember breastfeeding in those first two weeks where you thought you couldn’t possibly carry on because of the excruciating pain it caused you? Yes, I’m pretty certain you do. Well, here you are 4 months later, still breastfeeding and you actually enjoy it; a thought that was incomprehensible in those first two weeks . Your son is thriving, he is healthy and it’s all down to you and your milk.

And what about all those cluster feeding sessions where he fed for hours, days, on end? You didn’t know how you’d get through – you were exhausted from the constant feeding, no sleep and all the crying – yet you made it through.

There may be days where you don’t shower or get dressed but hey, there are people who don’t have babies who do the same (you certainly did before you had your baba). Besides, for the most part, you manage to get dressed and leave the house. And even if you don’t you still feed, change nappies, do laundry, do the dishes and ultimately love your son. He’s very lucky to have you.

Yes, it’s hard and you cry. You cry because you’re sleep deprived. You cry because there’s clean laundry to put away. You cry because there’s dirty laundry to wash. You cry because there’s toys all over floor. You cry because there’s dirty dishes all over the kitchen counters. You cry because you stink. You cry because the bathroom needs cleaning. You cry because he’s crying. And that’s ok.

But please remember to be kind to yourself. Think of the smiles your son gives you when he recognises your face and voice. Think of the smiles when you say ‘good morning’ to him. Think of the snuggly baby gro cuddles. Think of the joy you feel when he grabs a toy because that’s another step in his development. Think of him rolling over.

You are doing a marvellous job.

One day you will look back at these days with fondness and wonder how it went so quickly. Enjoy it and embrace it. Cry when you need to, sleep when you need to, ask for help when you need to but above all, remember to love yourself.

You are doing a marvellous job!

xxx