‘You’re ugly’ You’re fat’ ‘You’re boring’ ‘No-body likes you’ ‘Why would people want to be friends with you when you’re so full of issues’. These are statements I often find circling around in my head and to no surprise they get me down. I feel low, and when I say, I mean stay-in-bed, sleep-all-day, talk-to-no-one low. I had one of these days very recently. Here’s what happened:

It was a Sunday morning. I woke up, went downstairs and made a cup of coffee, took it back to bed, drank it slowly while reading a few chapters of my book. Sam woke up so I went back downstairs to make him a cup of tea, and had a lovely idea of making some toast for us both to have breakfast in bed. So that is what I did. It was bliss; a relaxing morning. That was until Sam made a decision (none of the following is his fault!), the decision to play a Magic OTG tournament. Immediately I debated whether to go to church or not. You see, the church I attend was having a big celebration service with a shared lunch afterwards. Even though I’ve been going for 6 years, I don’t feel I know very many people so I hide behind Sam. However, Sam was not going to be there so I wanted to avoid the awkwardness of who to sit next to for the service, and then sitting by myself and feeling lonely. As for the lunch, well that wasn’t going to happen – I wasn’t going to stay for that. The debate went on for an hour until I decided I should go. I walked into church, which was full of people and straight away I felt uncomfortable. I took my seat, and as I knew would happen, I sat on my own. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. Anyway, fast forward to the middle of the service, we were singing a song by Hillsong which has the lyrics ‘Christ is enough for me, Everything I need is in you’. I could not sing those words. I didn’t believe the words to be true so did not sing. At the end of the service, our Pastor wanted us to come to the front of the hall and collect a pebble. The pebble represented that our stories matter, we matter and we are worthy. However, I could not get a stone because I did not feel my story did matter. How could I collect a stone when I didn’t believe what it represented? So I just stood there. People came in waves to the front to collect their stone. As soon as the service ended, I picked up my coat, walked home as quickly as I could and went straight to bed where slept for the rest of the afternoon.

The following evening, I was telling a good friend about what had happened the day before. When I’d finished talking, she leapt up, said she’d be right back and went upstairs. She returned back to me clenching something in her fist. She opened it up to reveal a pebble. She’d found the pebble in the back pocket of her jeans and when she got home, she took it out and put it in the bin. She immediately took the stone of the bin because she just sensed it was important so put it by her bed. She didn’t know why it was important until the moment I finished speaking. That stone was important. It was very important. You see, God didn’t leave me in my very low point to go my own way and drown myself in my sorrows. He knew I was going to have that conversation with my friend and provided the stone to give to me. He knows I matter. He thinks I am worthy. And He wanted me to know that!

You see, God chose you before the world began. He wanted you to be on this earth right now and He made that happen! You are His creation; His masterpiece; how can you not love that truth? Why don’t you believe it? God has amazing plans for you – Ephesians and Jeremiah say so! You have a purpose, works created by your Heavenly Father for you to do. God loves you so incredibly much, with an everlasting love. Believe it. Let God fill your heart with His love and abundant joy. Allow yourself to feel and better still, allow yourself to know this truth and joy in your heart. Allow yourself to grasp how wide, long, high and deep the love of Christ is; know this love that surpasses all knowledge so that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. He is able to do immeasurably more than you could ask or imagine. Believe this truth also. He is far bigger than your issues. In fact He has overcome your issues. While you will have trouble on the earth, you can take comfort in knowing Jesus has overcome it. He leaves peace with you. You can live life through faith in the Son of God who has loved you and gave himself for you! You can come to Him in confidence because He has overcome everything. And because of this, your story matters. You matter!

Verses that hold the truth above:

Ephesians – all of it!

Jeremiah 29:11

Jeremiah 31:3

John 16:33

Galations 2:20